No-Candy Halloween: How Halloween is About Making Choices

First, let me say that now, our kids do get “hippie candy” at Christmas, or for Valentines Day, etc.  You know, that all-natural stuff that costs an arm and a leg.  So, they do get treats, but we decided many, many years ago, as a family, that what we put in our bodies matters.

We could eat whatever we want, but we choose not to.

 

We had spent the first years of our children’s lives carefully helping them make good healthy choices.  So, the idea that either 1) it would be all be undone by one night of unadulterated gluttony, so that our kids then want the candy even more, and feel unreasonably restricted, or 2) we could be the “bad guys,” restricting what our kids can and cannot eat – opening them up to increased temptation or rebellion, was not appealing.  Either option was basic psychology and was not really an option.

We had spent a lot of time teaching our kids that there is a better option, and that we consistently make the best choices we can.  All of our choices add up.

We don’t make the worst choices sometimes, and then shrug our shoulders, and say “oh well, it was just one night of bad choices.”  

The idea of making exceptions for good choices makes me shudder – not because of what might happen on a Halloween, but because of what might happen with that mindset during adulthood.  

So what to do?

This is a values issue.

Either we believe that what we put into our bodies matters, or we believe it only matters when we’re not tempted otherwise.

Would you abandon your faith for one night because everybody else did?

Or, would you ignore your ethical values because it wouldn’t cause any long-term damage just this once?

We all know the financial strain that can come from a just this once, because I really want it mentality.

If we believe something, we believe it all of the time, and not just when it is convenient, easy, or popular.

So, for Halloween, instead of sending a message that weakens our values, we decided to send a message about making the best choices we can.  We decided to give them an option.  A better-for-them option, so that they could practice making wise decisions.

And yes, we loaded the options so that the better-for-them option was just as desirable as the candy.

So, with our minds made up, for a no-candy Halloween, on October 30^th, Danny ran to Tuesday Morning, Target, and a couple of other stores buying up clearance toys that our boys might want.  I also got a sweet doll for the baby girl.

This was pre-minimalist for us, and it was overboard, but it worked, and we have tweaked it, so stick with me.  One value at a time 😉.

We all went trick-or-treating as a family, but Zara took the baby home after just a few of our close neighbor’s houses (the ones who would want to see the baby dressed as a pumpkin).  While I was still out with the boys, Zara placed all of the toys on the sofa, and put a sheet over it.

When we came back, I asked the boys to dump all of the candy the received in big piles on the ground, and look at.  Let’s be honest, we could all smell the sugar in the room.

Then, I pulled the sheet off of the toys.

I simply said: we have a choice to make about what we want.

You can have the candy OR THE TOYS!!!!!

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The kids forgot that there was even a pile of candy on the floor, and were jumping up and down, screaming, and ripping through the boxes like Christmas at a spoiled, only-child’s house.

Meanwhile, they did not even notice us disposing of the piles, and I mean piles, of candy.

But we are very clear, you either get the toys or the candy. No picking through, or choosing. A OR B.

We can choose something that will taste good at first, and then make us feel (and behave) terribly, or we can choose things that will bring us joy without the physical ramifications.

We choose the better option.  Both bring pleasure, but one is wiser.

The idea here is that kids want.  We all want.  We want things that will taste good, feel good, be fun… so, we cannot teach kids “not to want.”  If our goal is to tell our kids that they shouldn’t want something that tastes good, we will fail.

But, if our goal is to teach kids about making good choices, then we are winning.

PS- These days we are much more intentional about buying our kids items that they’d really like, instead of just going on a rampage in the clearance aisle.  And yes, this does cost money.  We believe that the money spent on good health, and good lessons is always a good investment.