How to Simplify Homeschooling Amid the Pressure of Everything You Should be Doing

How to Simplify Homeschooling…
when you are worried about what your child SHOULD be doing, what EVERYBODY ELSE is doing, and what you MIGHT need.

We all want to simplify homeschooling, but many times we get overwhelmed by everything with think we “should” be doing. We look at what we think “everybody else” is doing, and wonder if our children “might” need this or that.

The third mindset hack in the book Minimalist Homeschooling is: Erase “should” from your vocabulary. And, “everybody else,” and “might” while you’re at it.

EVERY homeschooler has dealt with the insecurity of what they “should” be doing, or what their child “might” need, or what “everybody else” is doing. These three types of statements hold homeschoolers back from having a simplified and focused homeschool every. single. day. Thoughts of comparison, fear, and doubt come from what the world says, and what the world does, and lead to a feeling of uncertainty.

When we are uncertain, unnecessary items creep into our days disguised as solutions to our fears.  Before we know it, our homeschools are overwhelming and complicated as we try to remedy our fears by doing it all.

You don’t have to do it all in order to feel confident homeschooling. Here are some tips for getting you through your next bout of doubt:

 

Use the World as a Guideline, not a Mandate

Minimalism teaches people to live without what “everybody else” owns because the value of objects is subjective, and often fleeting. Similarly, minimalist homeschooling advocates making your own decisions about what is valuable in an education instead of following the masses.

I like reading up on investing, and being intentional about our finances. And here’s one thing I have learned: not everybody should be investing in the same things. Yes, there are some basic guidelines that apply to everyone (like reading and math are common categories in our educational plans); but the ratio of investments, and the actual stocks in a portfolio are rarely the same from one person to the next… and yet, different portfolios are equally correct! And, all portfolios are working toward the same general goal!

If society is so accepting and tolerant of different stock investment portfolios (when raw numbers and statistics are at the core of the analysis), why does the world feel so intolerant of different homeschooling portfolios (when complex human beings are at the core)? We are all working toward the same general goal, but there are many equally correct ways to get there.

Don’t get me wrong, by all means you can be aware of what everybody else is doing and recommending. In fact, I recommend taking the standards of the world into advisement.

But, I also know that normal does not equal best. What is normal in society is not necessarily the best option. Just look at the normality and popularity of McDonalds…

It is up to us homeschooling folks to research the justification of all of those “shoulds,” to understand why “everybody else” is doing it. The question is whether a convincing argument can be made for including an item in YOUR child’s education; and whether it is best included now, or at another time.

Here is a link to state homeschooling requirements. A quick internet search will provide various checklists and standards for different grades that you can review.

Watch Your Words

Examine the words you use to describe the topic. If your statement sounds something like…

My children should memorize all the state capitals,
Everybody else’s child knows how to read by the time they’re five, or
My son might need to know about the Boxer Rebellion in college…

Stop right there.

Is the statement still true when you reframe it with value words – words like must, benefit, most important, want, love, value, or necessity? Those words indicate that a topic is more likely to be aligned with what is truly necessary or loved. And minimalist homeschooling is all about intentionally including topics that are the most valuable.

(Read more about how to do what you love here.)

This Is Not Emotional

Unfortunately, as parents, our emotions can take over when the extreme desire to give our children the best is combined with the weight of the responsibility to educate them. Looking around at all of the possibilities, knowing that we can’t possibly give our children everything, results in insecurity on a massive scale. Panic lately?

 

 

An education is a practical matter. It is about giving a person a toolbox that they will carry with them throughout life. Simply put, the amount, quality, and variety of tools that exist in any one person’s toolbox will determine which projects or tasks they are best equipped to accomplish.

Take a deep breath. Remember your vision for your children, and exactly why you are investing in them. Do not let fears or insecurity drive your homeschool. Instead, focus on the functional and practical aspects of your child’s education.  Build a quality toolbox, one tool at a time.

(Read more about how homeschoolers invest in their children here.)

Keep the Decision Process Simple

Minimalist homeschooling is all about keeping things simple through clarity and focus. If your decisions themselves feel unclear, complicated, or vague it is very difficult to have a meaningful and focused homeschool.

When deciding whether to include a certain topic or resource in your homeschool, follow a simple decision process. Don’t make it any more complicated than it needs to be. Questions you can ask are:

Can I see the value in this?
Am I willing to research the value in this? Now do I see the value?
Is it a “must”?
Do I love it, or does my child love it?
Do we have time for it?

Minimalism teaches a purging process of “Keep, Trash, or Donate.” Similarly, minimalist homeschoolers can decide whether resources or topics can be kept, trashed, or donated (to a later date) with this simple decision making process.  There are a lot of decisions in homeschooling (and in life).  If you can master the art of decision-making, life gets a whole lot simpler.

Download this free flow chart to keep the decision-making process simple.

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Reassess

The good news is that if you later realize that you “threw away” something that is of value, you can retrieve it, and move forward. It’s as though you were purging your home and threw away the pizza cutter, only to realize that you really did miss it. You could get another one. The same is true of your homeschool: nothing is permanent, and you can change your mind.

The goal is to make the best choices for your child every chance you get. If doubt or fear begin to creep in, start at the beginning of this blog post, and do it all over again. Different seasons demand different priorities. Goodness knows I am constantly rechecking my plan.

Changing your plan does not mean that your previous plan was wrong. Rather, reassessing is the best way to stay on track as your child’s education progresses and your vision is refined.

Purging your homeschool focus isn’t a one-time thing. Clutter finds its way back into spaces, schedules, and school plans. Maintenance is a good thing. Reassess your homeschool items each quarter, semester, and/or year to ensure clarity, confidence, and focus.

How do you deal with all the “shoulds” of the world? Are you ready to renew your clarity and focus? Comment below…

If you want to learn more about how to identify your homeschool values, prioritize, declutter your schedule and your resources, and put it all into practice, the book Minimalist Homeschooling is your own personal workshop to do just that.

This post is part of a 36-week series in which we dissect the minimalist homeschooling mindset. You can read What is Minimalist Homeschooling? Or, find all of the posts here.

Wishing you all the simple things,
Zara