Confident homeschooling can be elusive. I have been there. We combine this desire to give our children the BEST with the pressure of taking on the responsibility for their education. That’s a heavy load.
Of course we are going to fret over whether we’re doing a good job! Of course.
So, how is one to avoid homeschooling self-doubt?
The real problem is confusing humility – the knowledge that there is always room for improvement – with inadequacy.
Just because we may not do everything perfectly, does not mean that we have failed. Often, far from it.
First, sweet mom, please know that your self-doubt is coming from a well-intentioned place: the desire to help our children be the best. But, please don’t let your humility cross the line to self-deprecation. The first – humility – is empowering, encouraging us to constantly improve. The second – self-deprecation – is defeating, convincing ourselves that we have somehow failed.
Room for improvement is a truth. Inadequacy is a lie. Got it?
One of the reasons I designed the Minimalist Homeschooling process is to combat the constant fears of inadequacy that come with homeschooling. In fact, one of the things I most love to hear from my Simple is the New Smart members, or Minimalist Homeschooling book-lovers is that they no longer wonder about the value of what they do, or feel doubtful about their accomplishments at the end of the day.
Instead, while Minimalist Homeschooling, there is a different sort of fear!
We love our simple homeschool, but then we see other homeschoolers with jam-packed schedules, and all the workbooks, and wonder if our children are really going to be prepared for their future? I’ll be honest, sometimes, even when we are adhering to our values, and meeting all of our specific goals, self-doubt can still creep in. Guilty.
It’s just proof that we ALL doubt!
I mean, we could fit more into a day in exchange for our free time and sanity. So, should we?
No.
It’s almost like it’s too good to be true! How can you have so much free time and still be doing “enough?”
Easy. Minimalist Homeschool Mindset Hack #27 is: Use only what is necessary and what is best.
Ideally we all want to create learners – lifelong, independent learners who love learning, and who naturally learn. We have goals that go far beyond math facts and historical dates. And yet, so many homeschoolers obsess over whether what they are doing is “right,” or “enough.” We wonder whether we should cram-pack every possible minute with planned learning.
This explains how Minimalist Homeschoolers end up with well-educated children AND a simple homeschool WITH free-time.
We don’t have to choose between academics and free-time, because we are selective about academics.
Make sense? When we know that we are doing a few really high-impact things (not all the tings) for our major subjects, then we open the day for impromptu learning and lovely things.
Still, if you’re wondering whether your good, and valuable minimalist education is “enough,” here are a few practical ideas to confirm your success. Choose one or two ideas assess the status of your homeschool, and bolster your confidence.
1. Practice Gratitude
What if you started and ended each day giving thanks for what you are doing in your homeschool? Giving thanks for what you do have in your homeschool? Being grateful for what you have done, and will do?
Confident homeschooling can be as simple as practicing gratitude.
By naming the value of what we already do and have in our homeschool, the bright and shiny new things don’t seem so tempting. We focus on the value of what we ARE doing instead of the insecurity from what we are not.
Afterall, everything we bring into our homeschools will replace or displace something else. When we see the value in what we have, we are less willing to bring in more, and sacrifice what we already have. The grass doesn’t look much greener on the other side.
It really can be that simple.
2. Spend some time with others
Get grounded with a nice playdate with other kids your child’s age, and their moms. I’m not suggesting that you have a comparison-fest, but seeing other children in action, and asking other moms how they are doing is an enjoyable way to keep perspective. Ask your favorite mom friends about your expectations, your fears, your temptations. A good friend will give you honest answers.
Sometimes, we’re just too close to the situation to see the progress. We get so caught up in the weeds that we can’t see the trees, or the forest.
Sometimes, I just need to ask my husband for his perspective. It’s more objective, and he sees the progress that I can’t see because he sees them more sporadically. My children’s growth is slowly happening with me every single day, so somethimes I just don’t see the progress.
A friend, a husband, a mother… anyone who knows you and your kids can help give you perspective. Just choose positive, encouraging people, please.
If you’d like an online community where you can do a quick reality check, we’d love to see you in our facebook group!
3. Take a standardized test.
If you’re a comparison-type, and you just want to make sure that you’re on par with the schools, a standardized test is a great option. You can register for the California Achievement Test online for about $25.00. It’s a relatively cheap and straight-forward way to practice confident homeschooling.
I do NOT want to debate the efficacy, objectivity, or flaws of standardized testing here. If this option is not a good fit for your family – you know who you are – move on. I have more ideas down below.
However, the benefit of this approach is that your child gets standardized testing practice. The results are not reported to anyone but you – you can even use a fake name. If you do decide to send your child to school, these tests are often used to inform the school of your child’s educational level according to their benchmarks (no matter how different those standards may be from your own goals).
I didn’t inherently see the point in standardized tests, but then, I had my oldest child take one just so that I could reassure myself that I was meeting my husband’s expectations… and it totally took a load off of MY shoulders. I’ll be completely honest, my husband was a little uncertain that we were doing “enough,” or that our children were going to be well-prepared when we first started. And, it was hard for me to quantify for him how our children were doing academically. I didn’t test them regularly, or give them grades, and even if I did, were they really objective scores? It was hard to reassure him that I thought they were doing great. Maybe you’ve been there?
Now, when moms are freaking out about “not doing enough,” and their child is “behind,” or that they need to reassure their husband, I may suggest a standardized test.
I mean, if you’re going to freak out about something, at least make sure that your fear is accurate!
Personally, I discuss the scores with my children. I tell them that these results are just for us. It helps me to know which areas we are learning well, and which areas I might want to devote more teaching time to. This test is not an indication of failure or anything else – just an indication of what they have learned (or not learned) compared to hundreds of thousands of kids. I don’t expect their education to be identical, and they know that. But I do want their education to be complete, and so we take a test at the end of the year to help me plan the next year. See how I put a lot of it on me? I can’t expect them to know anything I haven’t taught them.
My kids love taking the test. They. love. it.
4. Know grade standards.
If you’re a checklist-type, get a book of standards. There is no shame is accepting that for you, a checklist may be what you need for confident homeschooling. In fact, guidelines are really helpful! You can use the state standards published by each state’s Department of Education.
Or, here’s my confession: This year, one of our homechooling goals is to make sure that everyone is solidly on-track with their school-attending peers. (I have a middle schooler for the first time this year, so I am feeling the pressure of a future that includes classes outside the home.) So, we spent our first 6 weeks doing age-appropriate BrainQuest workbooks and “What Your ___________ Needs to Know” books.
There is no shame in this, guys. If that’s what you need to do, then do it. Just don’t belabor it, or make these out to be the end-all and be-all of an education.
It only took us 6 weeks (30 days) to work through all of that material (in a targeted, focused way). 6 weeks of reading the book, doing the worksheets, and studying math, foreign language, reading aloud, and music lessons as usual. Only 6 weeks, with plenty of free time. Now I feel confident that my children are at least familiar with all of the basic material that their peers have studied. Then we add 30 more weeks of additional educational exploration to that foundation!
Just be sure to use your own filter for all of those recommendations so that you don’t get overwhelmed (more on that in Minimalist Homeschooling).
5. Learn Minimalist Homeschooling… for real.
Minimalist Homeschooling is sooooooo much more than just schooling with less stuff. Minimalist Homeschooling is actually a mindset shift that impacts our confidence, schedules, peace, space, relationships, priorities, family… pretty much everything our homeschools touch benefits from a serious look at what is most loved and most needed.
Including our perception of “enough.”
I happen to think that “doing enough,” is a notion that plagues homeschooling, and motherhood, too. The whole idea is meaningless. I mean, what is “enough,” anyway?
What value does “enough” have? And, how will you know when you arrived at “enough?” In fact, “enough” seems like a big fat moving target that never satisfies us!
I define homeschool success quite differently from “doing enough,” and as a result, confident homeschooling is not nearly as elusive as it once was. In fact, a more valuable and tangible definition of success is something we talk in depth about in Simple is the New Smart. You cannot feel successful in your homeschool if you’re not even sure what exactly “successful” means :).
I designed the membership to help you transform your mindset, and your homeschool so that you can rid yourself of the homeschool self-doubt, stress, exhaustion and overwhelm once and for all :). It’s there for you whenever you’re ready. I’d love to see you inside!
There you have it. 5 ways to practice confident homeschooling. How do you cope when fears of homeschool inadequacy creep in? Which one of these are you looking forward to trying? I’d love to continue the conversation below! Feel free to comment…
Wishing you all the simple things,
Zara
